The announcement of the results of by-elections held in three assembly constituencies in Kerala – Alappuzha, Ernakulam and Kannur – was predictably followed by the airwaves being filled with endless repartee between the talking heads of Kerala’s two predominant political outfits. Political chutzpah and punditry were on full display on all networks. TV audience was treated to the sight of commentators after commentators analyzing and scrutinising the verdict to the point of exhaustion. That, even after a harrowing campaign in which allegations of foul play flew thick and fast and barrages of accusations verging on paranoia abounded, politicians could still muster sufficient vigor to offer highly charged analytical acumen, confounded the polity to no end. People of Kerala can rest assured that, at least when it comes talking the talk, their politicians are a reliable breed. Never mind that most of the rhetoric amounted to nothing more than exercises in verbal one-upmanship and would not stand up to scrutiny or common sense.
The UDF stalwarts interpreted the setback suffered by the LDF as yet another illustration of the organization’s withering electoral fortunes, a trend set in motion with the drubbing it received at the parliamentary polls earlier this year. However, the LDF partisans made sure that reduced majorities of the victors were not lost sight of, and they laid emphatic stress on it as a testament to the Left’s resurgence. While M.M. Hassan, his grated voice increasingly resembling that of a hippo with a bad throat ache, donned the role of the chief UDF spokesperson, LDF fielded an array of experts to make the art of scurrying for cover look respectable. Barbs and insults were traded with élan, and both parties ensured that mimicry artists would not run out of material at least until the next election cycle. Hassan Sahib kept reminding those who voted for the Congress how they had contributed to an epoch-making event and graciously offered his LDF colleagues a crash course in how to avoid shrinking into complete irrelevance in Kerala’s political landscape. M. V. Govindan Master and Prakashan Master of CPI (M) started their rebuttals sensibly enough, but inevitably resorted to what they do best even at the best of times, i.e., sounding shrill and self-righteous.
Veliyam Bharghavan once again demonstrated that his descent into senility has reached a point of no-return, as he mumbled his way through press conferences and interviews (but did not come close enough to topping that gem he uttered at the height CPI-CPM feud regarding the Ponnani Lok Sabha seat – the one about CPI winning most of the seats in the elections that followed the split of 1964, an observation that V.S. Achuthanandan took strong exception to). Rajmohan Unnithan reveled in his characteristic grandstanding and once again offered clues as to why Malayalees were largely spared the impact of Navajot Singh Sidhu’s protracted absence from the national scene. He also earned the immense gratitude of Malayalees for volunteering to fulfill every society’s need to periodically exorcise its lingering, atavistic elements of nuttiness. Bhasurendra Babu threw in everything from economic determinism to neo-Marxism but still managed to sound totally incomprehensible, and stood as a shining embodiment of everything the Left should be keeping at bay if it holds any desire to connect with the rising generation of voters.
Also awaited with bated breaths was K.E.N Kunhahammad offering some kind of insight along the lines of how the vulgarity displayed by the electorate in snubbing the LDF provided a rich cultural milieu for the Party to tap into and capitalize on in the future (or some other absurdity of similar kind). Alas, that never came. Well, one should be thankful for small mercies
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